Greetings, wenches and mongrels! Thought I'd explain the purpose of this (ultra) kvlt weblog. It's quite simple, really. I am here to teach you how to be kvlt!
You may be thinking to yourself "But... I'm kvlt enough, surely?".
Oh really? You probably still use a regular fork and knife to eat your dinner, don't you? You're probably still listening to untr00 bands, aren't you? You're probably drinking a fucking Red Bull as you're reading this aren't you!? Well, guess what? You're not kvlt. You're not even sub-kvlt!
But it's alright. If i possesesed the power of forgiveness, I would forgive you right now. Because I am here to show you the way. The way of the kvltist.
By following this weblog, you will eventually know kvltness in your black and misanthropic heart.
- You will listen to the right bands.
- You will be mean to animals.
- You will only eat food that has been kvlt-approved.
- You will reject happiness, and accept grimness into your (black and
- misanthropic) heart
- You will wear the right clothes.
- You will not get along with your parents.
- You will learn which groups and organizations to affiliate yourself with.
- You will learn the correct way to scowl.
- You will learn the correct procedure of grave desecration.
These are just some of the things that I will teach you in this weblog! Follow my teachings, and you will soon find yourself on the path towards tr00 kvltness. it will not be an easy journey. But it will be worthwhile.
Until next time:
I hate you all.
Yours cruelly, N.S.