Interview with Arctic Swarm

This post was originally meant to feature a review of Nidrosian Blak Mass III, but due to some complications in regards to pictures, this wil have to be postponed. But fear not, acolytes, because I have something greater in store for you today. Namely an interview with Xabraxas of the ultra kvlt band ARCTIC SWARM!

Arctic Swarm is one of those rare obscure and unpredictable bands that refuse to let go of its Kvltist Principles, and chooses to remain hidden in the abyss. Xabraxas himself is an icy and mysterious fellow. Hardly anything is known about his person save for some obscure rumors of a burning church, a ritual gone awry and a priest locked up in a mental asylum. But we are not here to discuss rumors. We are here to discuss the frozen entity that is ARCTIC SWARM!

N.S:

Hail, Xabrazas! Tell me the gruesome background of Arctic Swarm. What motivated you to start it, and what are the thoughts and ideas you wish to project?

Xabraxas:

Hails, beings of frost!The tale of Arctic Swarm is only this: a blanketing of the universe in eternal permafrost as the Hessians assert dominion over the weak and the reversal of all natural and manmade processes bring the Antarctic Age to its glorious beginnings...the foundations of mankind will crumble beneath humanity's gluttonous obesity, and only the slender warriors of the ice shall prevail unscathed by these blizzards of beseechment. ARCTIC SWARM preaches a message of anti-weakness and, subsequently, anti-capitalistic social habitation, in an audial battery that conveys this message in an artistic and immortal manner.

N.S.

.You have gone to great lengths to keep your music concealed from the mindless masses, and as far as I know, there are only a handful releases circulating in the obscure underground. Tell me about these releases. What motivated you shroud them in secrecy?

Xabraxas:

These releases have never been released beyond a chosen pool of true cult berzerkers, those who have naught to gain but added ideals to their insane psyches. The only ones that I have deemed worthy of the experience of the first three unreleased ARCTIC SWARM albums are those that have lost their minds and their souls to the ever expanding nothingness. These three albums are not by any means of a transcendent quality, but, like the legendary Mengele's experiments, these three albums were used as a way to test my inventions on a disassociated and hated control group, so that I can assess the effects of the music on the human mind that has lost itself to oblivion. The Antarctic Age is soon upon us, and I must strive to make consistently sufficient offerings to the spirits of the glacial winds, so that I may humbly rise to their hall of stalagmitic glory on the day of my death, an artisan of the cold.

N.S:

You have never been afraid to experiment, thus making it impossible to predict what your next outputs will sound like. What are your main influences and inspiration?

Xabraxas:

My inspirations reach deep into the abyss, plucking from the grimy horrors only the most ingenuous parliaments assembled to create blackened art. If I were to recite the names of my indirect mentors of the frost, I would cite REVEREND BIZARRE of Finland for their ludicrously evil approach to audial ceremony; I would cite BISHOP OF HEXEN of Israel for their bombastic assault of the winds of terror; I would, shocking as it may be to the black hordes, cite DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN of New Jersey for their unrelenting demolition of the human mind and audio receptors I would cite OBTENEBRATUM of France for their truly abysmal grimness;I would cite VULVAPEST of Chile for their pure hatred; and I would cite DEMENTOR of Colorado for their unwavering devotion to chaos.

N.S:

There are rumors circulating in the shadows that you are working on an upcoming release. Is there any information you can divulge?

Xabraxas:

ARCTIC SWARM is preparing the candles for the unholy rite "Blasphemic Reveries", a split release with Norwegian legion INNAVL. Each side will be 5 tracks of untold abhorrence, to total ten anthems and hymns that will be presented as an offering to the revulse and ignominous hordes. It will be distributed for free to any who wish to experience it; even the mindless moshpit nulls.

N.S:

Tell me about your home town. What is it like to be a kvltist in Albuquerque, New Mexico?

Xabraxas:

It is a true challenge for ARCTIC SWARM to thrive in the heat of the desert that is Albuquerque, New Mexico. The parched draughted wastelands are a perfect backdrop in which to test my audial frostvirus on the unsuspecting tanned loons!

N.S:

While the Black Circle, Les Legions Noires and the Temple of Fullmoon has long since met its end, there are still underground black metal circles around the world, eager to carry the torch, so to speak. What is your view on modern black metal conclaves such as Blazebirth Hall?

Xabraxas:

I fully support the forming and convening of artistic circles of any kind, black metal being no exception. These often, but not always, regional gatherings are innovative ways to allow others to influence one's soul and therefore their art. They sometimes circumvent the ridiculous development of "music scenes", instead melding with others anywhere from 5 to 5000 miles away, and reinforce the icy core of a frost warrior's heart. Blazebirth Hall, Les Legions Noires, and The Order Of The Silver Night all are/were great collections of musical genius.

N.S:

There are some who claim that black metal should only be about the music, while others maintain that the music and the ideology is too intertwined to be separated. What is your opinion on this matter?

Xabraxas:

The spectres of the sullen and the lords the ice care not of the appearance of an artisan of the hall! Alas, one could appear to be the most grievous wanderer of the forests, but if they have feces as their creations, they are no better than the placebic idiots that populate the mainstream radio stations. ARCTIC SWARM does not stand by a demented view of human equality, but one of equal artistic opportunity. An African, a Norwegian, and a Malaysian could all make great art if they convalesce from normal humanity into a creature of the darkness as other black metal artists have.

N.S:

Is black metal for anyone, or only for a small, exclusive elite?

Xabraxas:

Black metal is for everyone! The more that are exposed to it, the better, as we can purge our walls of the scum that cannot comprehend the intricacies of its perfection and leave the perfect tribe to initiate the Antarctic Age and invocate black metal as it should be concieved!

N.S:

Who (If anyone) do you consider to be ‘true’ in modern black metal, and who do you consider to be the ultimate sell-outs?

Xabraxas:

The only true black metallers are those that fully understand the doctrines and don't follow anyone, including even figureheads such as VARG VIKERNES. Sadly, the majority of black metal has turned to mirror the majority of the masses; following the latest trend. Alas, it is altogether necessary to have false black metal acts such as Dimmu Borgir in order to build one's love of black metal. As long as one moves on and learns of the superiority of black metal, they should be free to explore what they want. After all, after hearing HATE FOREST, one would not look at Cradle of Filth the same way again.

N.S:

Any final statements?

Xabraxas:

No. I have grim business to attend to.

Thank you for this interview, mighty Xabraxas!

That is it for now, maggots. I urge you all to study the words of Xabraxas very carefully and keep your eyes open for future ARCTIC SWARM releases!

Keep it kvlt!

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Interview with Avregrevartre Melioverkre

Greetings, inferior insects!
I always try to keep tabs on what goes on in the dark pits of the underground black metal scenes. Because it is there that you will find true, hateful and undilluted black metal. This is where the loyal acolytes of darkness make their nests. Forget what you've read in Metal Hammer, Terrorizer or any other moneywhoring gospels of faggotry! If you want know what black metal truly is, then you have to delve into the abyss yourself and stare directly into the Eye of the Beast that resides there!

Today's post features an interview with none other than Vzldrb of the one-man band Avregrevartre Melioverkre from the U.S.! Now, the United States of America is very often ovelooked when it comes to black metal, and a lot of people seem to be under the impression that the Americans haven't got what it takes to make evil and goat-sodomizing black metal. Well... they are wrong, and bands like Avregrevartre Melioverkre proves it!

N.S:

Hail, Vzldrb! Telll me about Avregrevartre Melioverkre.
how did it come into being, and what are its themes and message?

Vzldrb

Hail!
Avregrevartre Melioverkre, simply put, is my main outlet for all my feelings deep inside - it came into being when these feelings of hatred cannot be kept inside any longer - the filth called "Humanity" must hear what a "demon" (one they have made by their own hands, unknowingly) sounds like. Hatred cannot be kept inside, so instead I channe; these emotions to create Art, and Ritual to Satan. Satan will hear you if you are sincere... He may even call you!

Again, the main themes are reverence for Satan, and also the other-world or after-life. The message is nothing more, then for humanity to realize what they really are - mindless sheep, which are to be offered on the Altar to cleanse the earth of their stain/existence.

N.S:

What would you say are your main inspiriations? What fuels Avregrevartre Melioverkre?

Vzldrb:

Inspirations are early 80s Black Metal bands: Venom, Bathory, etc. As well as the 90s.. The main thing you should hear in my music is the heavy Burzum and Countess influence. The message and themes are what fuel Avregrevartre Melioverkre, nothing more... If Humanity realizes what filth they are, I will still make black metal, however... I do not want to get ahead of myself, because I think Humanity will never wake up!!

N.S:

One of Avregrevartre Melioverkre's trademarks is its raw, almost abysmal sound. Do you view raw production as an essential necessity in black metal? Is it possible convey the same imagery and emotions with a cleaner, or "nicer" sound?

Vzldrb:

Yes, raw production IS needed... My reasoning is that Black metal should be music you have to actually LISTEN to, not just hear easily. It weeds out the sincere from the insincere! You have to want to hear it to actually HEAR the music. Another thing is the imagery... it creates an atmosphere. Of course any of these things is not possible, and anything with a "cleaner" sound, I would beware of the band's real intent!! Say, like modern Immortal, modern-day Mayhem, Emperor, and so on... All have "clean" values - these once iconic bands have sold out, just so they can market "NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL!" ... I may not like Darkthrone's later music, but at least he isn't trying to cash in on concert after concert like Mayhem or Emperor, just to make money!!

Although I do like these early Norwegian albums, before most of the scene got corrupted - Burzum's "Belus" felt like a re-hash of material, but at least Burzum remained true and sincere.

N.S:

What is your view on today's black metal? Is it keeping true to its roots, or has it lost its way?

Vzldrb:

See the above... With how easy it is to make music today, there are VERY many "shit" bands! But also, we hear bands we would probably never hear... Sadly, I think, Black Metal is full of shit, with a few gems worth keeping! Those bands that sound good, clearly get the message, and are called by SATAN, or old Pagan Gods... but many are not so chosen.

N.S:

So-called NSBM seems to be on the rise in today's black metal, especially in Eastern Europe. What are your views on this "sub-genre"? Do politics belong in black metal, or should it be kept apolitical?

Vzldrb:

There is nothing wrong with this sub-genre, as they are sincere.. For example, Bilskirnir as some NS references, and plays well... As does Waffen SS from Italy. However, we should really see more Communist Black Metal! Communism is good, it unites the VERY FEW honest hard-working people to overthrow filthy humans in power, with only selfish interests in mind. Stalin, in my mind, is a great hero.

N.S:

You originally hail from Pennsylvania, I believe. Tell me about it's black metal scene. Is there an established underground circle there?

Vzldrb:

There is a very small scene hear in PA... A very good band, Vrolok is in the city of Franklin, not too far from me - they are signed with Drakkar Productions, and make great music. Besides that, nothing notable in my mind. I do not mingle with any "scene", black metal is way too trendy thanks to betraying-bands that ruin the black metal essence.

N.S:

Should black metal be kept strictly as an underground movement? Or should it be allowed to surface onto to the plane of mainstream corporation and jew-vultures?

Vzldrb:

Yes, it MUST and WILL be underground, because humans will never change or understand, for many, many hundreds of years to come. Few are chosen to hear the Call of the Dark Lord. As an aside, I must state how I loathe people who like metal just to have fun, party, and get drunk... they can go fuck off! They can talk about hating humans but then they do everything those filthy animals do, just with metal music instead of pop hits!

N.S:

If you could pick one black metal band to send screaming into the fires of Hades eternal, which band would it be?

Vzldrb:

I would have to say Dimmu Borgir, absolutely. A second follow up would be Cradle of Filth. Of course, I like them in a sense because they keep the stupid people away from real Black Metal.

N.S.

So, what's next for Avregrevartre Melioverkre?

Vzldrb:

As far as Avregrevartre Melioverkre is concerned, the full-length will not be recorded, and the EP (which IS complete...) will never see the light of day. I am working on more music, with much more skill and effort involved - now that I have done one demo, I can focus on defining HOW I want to say rather than WHAT to say, in my music. The reason is simple: I know the sound I am going for, I have made it reality, now I can fine-tune it... and with this, will come a name change.



N.S:
Any final statements?

Vzldrb:

Stay true, and continue to follow the will of the DARK LORD, Satan!


Thank you for granting me this in interview, Vzldrb! Keep the Flames of Hades burning!

That is all for now, maggots. More interviews will follow in the future, and a review of Nidrosian BLack Mass III is also in the works.

Until next time, Kill. Maim. Destroy

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Victory Orgasm Nazi

As most of you acolytes know, the world is filled with posers, faggots and jews, and the internet is no exception. The interweb is contaminated by untrve maggots listening to Behemoth and pretending that they are black metal. These unworthy whores are spreading their filthy maggots! They are trying to turn black metal into a hollow, family friendly and pussified piece of commercial rat-shit! Thy are trying to strip black metal of its values and turn it into something 'nice', and something that is for 'everybody'. These weak-minded cocksuckersd are spreading their spiritual HIV everywhere on the internet these days.

But there are still pure havens of kvltists devoted to maintaing the spirit and values of black metal.

Behold:



Victory Orgasm Nazi (VON) is a community for true, narrow minded and kvlt black metal fans.
It is an elite circle of vicious and kvlt individuals without moral, without mercy and without inhibitions. This place is a focal point for underground black metal and true kvltist values.
If you are a kvltist, and wish to communicate with other individuals of relatively equal kvltness, then this is the place for you.

But be warned. Anyone who are not approved by the Inner Circle will be chastised severely for intolerable jewish behavior! Victory Orgasm Nazi is a den of vicious wolves. If you cannot hold your own, then neither you or your inferiority has any place at VON.

Applicants who will receive immediate rejection:

. People who do not meet the minumum required level of kvltness
. Jews
. Christians
. Muslims
. Faggots
. People who listen to Dimmu Borgir
. People who do not walk the path of Black Metal

If any of these issues applies to you, then do not bother applying, and drown yourself in a bath of acid in stead. Slowly.

Until next time, Keep the Flame Burning!

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Innavl - Demo

Here's a demo from an obscure and underground 2-man band from Bergen, Norway. The guys behind it are friends (In a dark, misanthropic and kvlt way) and fellow kvltists of mine, and it is with their permission that I release this testament of kvltness for your benefit!



Innavl - Demo

Lineup:
Lord Drakh - Vocals and Bass
Count Morloch - Drums

Tracklist:
1. Intro 0.27
2. Stare into the Eyes of Innavl 3.09
3. Downward Spiral 3.11
4. The Sweet Scent of Genocide
5. Outro 0.47

Innavl was originally conceived as a 3-man band, but the former guitarist was appearently kicked out of the band (And beaten severely) for cutting his hair short.

The members behind Innavl are Lord Drakh and Count Morloch, two kvltists of considerable infamy. Both share a burning passion for black metal, as well a formidable history of mental illness.

As for the demo in question, it's a raw, misanthropic and kvlt vessel of utter destruction! It reeks of contempt, bile, hatred and darkness. Lord Drakh's maniacal and hateful vocals sound as if he is possessed by Satan, and Count Morloch's relentless and skillful drumming heralds in the Dark War!
Believe it or not, but this demo was actually written and recorded live only two days ago. One of the things you will notice, is that this demo is completely devoid of guitars! Appearantly, after kicking out their sell-out guitarist, Lord Drakh and Count Morloch thought 'fuck it', and recorded a demo anyway. Would it be better with guitars? Perhaps. But who the fuck cares? Innavl succeeds in creating a chaotic maelstrom of annihilation without it!

The production, as expected, is raw and kvlt as fuck. Each track was recorded on Lord Drakh's MP3-player (!), and non of the tracks have been mixed, edited or cut in any way!

Needless to say, this a true gem for all aspiring kvltists, and I can't wait to see what these degenerates cook up for their next release!


Innavl - Demo

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Tribute to a Hero

It has been nearly 20 years since the immesurably kvlt underground Norwegian movement The Black Circle collapsed. With the collapse of the Norwegian scene, the French Les Légions Noires inherited the the Crown of Evil, but eventually, they too succumbed to the sickening daylight that threatens us all.

Now, there are no movements to be reckoned with. No undeground scene to terrorize the mindless insects that contaminates the world with their mediocrity. No circle of fiends to continue the Dark War.

But there is still hope (In a dark, misanthropic and kvlt way)! For there are still Warriors of Darkness out there continuing the unholy crusade. Recently, acts of terror has been committed against the Judeo-Christian plague that contaminates Norway. Unholy warriors refusing to kneel before the tyranny of lihjy.
And it is to one of these Warriors, that I dedicate this entry to:



This is the only known picture of a proud kvltist who has terorized Christians and Jews alike for several years. He is here seen being apprehended by the police after vandalizing a church and assaulting a security guard.

His activities date as far back as 2001 when he attempted to burn down a church. Since then he has started additional churchfires, vandalized churches and desecrated graves. He was recently arrested for yet another attack at his (Presumably) local church, and threatened the police with a machete when they attempted to apprehend him.

Behold his dark deeds:


34 graves in one night! The Christian scum are pissing themselve in fear of this Satanic Juggernaut!
Each time he has appeared in court, he has declared himself a proud servant of darkness, and a loyal subject of Satan. This man has no fear, no remorse, and no mercy has he continues to fight the Dark War.

I thank you, nameless warrior, for continuing to spread blasphemy and terror into the hearts of the weakling maggots of society!

Hail Sathanas! The Dark War continues!

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Träumen - Of Death and Dreaming

Discovered this recently released demo by underground band Traümen from London, of all places, over at Hatred Nation, and grind my horn! It's some kvlt blavk metal!
The entity behind the music is called Lich, a nihilistic misanthrope surrounded by obscurity




Träumen at Hatred Nation

This demo is raw, atmospheric and kvlt as fuck! The drums are wicked, the vocals are inhuman, and the guitar riffs are excruciatingly hypnotic.
This demo reeks of both venemous contempt and a dark longing for something intangible. It is grim and filthy, yet hauntingly beautiful.
I urge all true disciples of kvlt black metal to give this a listen. It will contaminate your soul, corrupt your spirit, obliterate your sanity and sodomize your earholes! Enjoy!

Be sure to have a good look around Hatred Nation. If you can't find anything to your liking there, you are obviously not kvlt.

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Long Awaited Return

Well, I hope kvltness has not plummeted too badly in my absence. I was forced to take a break from my teachings due to some ridiculous legal issues, which left me with very limited access to the world wide web. I thus decided to halt my teachings, and continue when my predicament changed, which I am happy (In a dark, misanthropic and kvlt way) to say it has.

This unfortunate situation also forced me to put my band on hold, but I am sardonically pleased to inform you that I will resume my musical activities effective immediately, and will soon record material that I have written in my absence.

Much have happened since the last time I so selflessly atttempted to educate you worthless insects. The biggest of which, is the demise of Ronnie James Dio. This is a sad day for all kvltists, for the world has lost one of its original Unholy Ones. But rest assured, as long as fire burns on this wretched Earth, the (un)Holy Diver will be among us.



Lesser news: a Norwegian book called Innfødte Skrik (Native Shrieks) about Norwegian Black Metal has been released, and I intend to read it and review it here.
I have recently watched the Black Metal documentary Until the Light Takes Us which features ultra-kvlt Black metal artists like Fenriz, Count Grishnackh, Hellhammer and Faust. I will of course review it in full here.

Anyway, that is all for now, minions. Expect my lessons to resume in full, very soon.
Those who fail to live up to my standards will suffer castration or worse.


Until next time, incinerate your local church.

Yours cruelly, N.S.

The Kvltness Continues

As everyone with aspirations of kvltness should know, a new album entitled Belus will be released by ultra kvlt band Burzum on 08.03.2010. Seriously, if you somehow managed to be ignorant of this, please end your life now and save little dignity before you're lynched by the kvlt.

Anyway, the reason for my postring this, is that Varg has recently released samples of each track, available for you maggots to enjoy.
Samples can be found here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Belus/dp/B0036Y88YW/ref=sr_shvl_album_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1265237193&sr=301-4 Go listen. Now.

I. Leukes Renkespill (Introduksjon)
II. Belus' Død
III. Glemselens Elv
IV. Kaimadalthas' Nedstigning
V. Sverddans
VI. Keliohesten
VII. Morgenrøde
VIII. Belus' Tilbakekomst (Konklusjon)

My opinion? It sounds great, but I it would be to premature and utterly retarded to judge the album this early. When it is released, my sentence shall fall.
Oersonally, I see the release of a new Burzum album as a sardonic fuck you to the jews.

Oh, and here are the correct answers to the kvltness test:

1 - A
2 - B
3 - A

If your answers were a 100% correct, you have hints of kvltness in you and there is hope (In the dark, misanthropic and kvlt sense) for you yet.
If you made any mistakes, well, then I guess you have failed at kvltness, and thus failed at life, and even worse, you have failed me!

There will be more of these tests in the future, both short ones and grand ones. Be prepared, insects.

Until next time, sodomize something.

Yours Cruelly, N.S.

Kvltness for Dummies - vol 1

Short test here to test your kvltness. Fail me, and you shall suffer the consequences (i.e. a crossbow bolt up your rectum).

1. Which of these bands are kvlt?

Is it: A?

Or is it: B?

2. What is the correct (And kvlt) way to pose on a black metal photo?

Is it: A?

Or is it: B?

3. Who's the kvltist?


Is it: A?

Or is it: B?

Until next time, Keep it kvlt!

Yours cruelly, N.S.

One Night in Blashyrkh

Norwegian black metal band Immortal began their European tour in their hometown of Bergen this saturday, and me and my fellow kvltists were there. Now, Immortal may not be the kvltest of bands, but sodomize my earhole, they sure know how to put on a great show!

The concert was not free of travesties, however. Upon majestically making our entrance, we were horrified to gaze upon the crowd. Skinheads (And not in the grim nazi way), straight-edgers, snobs and generally inferior scum! People wearing coloured clothings, short hair, Dimmu Borgir shirts! At one point I even thought I spotted a jew somewhere amongst the crowd! Is this what it's come to? Mainstream faggots who care nothing for kvultist values attending black metal concerts, thinking they're "rad"? Has black metal really become this accessible? First Keep of Kalessin whoring themselves on international television, and now this? I swear to Satan, I had to punch at least five "metalheads" during the first hour of the show! The worst guy we saw was this hipster wearing a hip-hop beanie (Is that the word?), and a white shirt that looked like it has cost him at least a 1500 NOK! Don't worry, though, we naturally beat him up after the concert and left him to bleed his AIDS infected blood in the snow.

Furthermore, I have never seen such a sad display of sheep-mentality at a concert before. Pathetic, faggot fanboys headbanging away in desperate hope of sucking Abbath's cock! That's what headbanging is, you know, nothing but deep throat practice! Grind my horn! It looked like a fucking convention for nymphomatic spastics! I didn't even know that brain-cripples were allowed to stay out this late. shouldn't they be spoon-fed cum juice in some asylum? At least we were able to to relieve ourselves of a little aggression that night by beating some of them senseless.

Another thing that really annoyed me, were all the orca-fat retards moving back and forward all the time. What the fuck gos through the minds of these inbred cockjugglers? Gigantic, fat mongoloids attempting to make their way to the front by going through yours truly! Sorry to say that none of them succeeded. Some of them even had the audacity to act insulted after I knocked them to the ground! Why do they want to get to the far front so desperately? Are they hoping that Abbath will bestow his cum on them if they cheer loudly enough?
Furthermore, when they get to the front, why can't they stay there, in stead of moving back and forth, so that I do not have to violently assault them every time they try to pass through me? With such steep prices on ale that night, you'd think bladder control wouldn't be that much of a problem.

Still, the concert was a success. The band unleashed a holocaust to my satisfaction. It became clear that the band was trying to gas the audience to death at some point, as a lot of people developed breathing problems and had to step outside. Kvlt as I am, their Zyklon B did not affect me the slightest.

So all in all, a very good concert. But the useless, pathetic, watered out and unkvlt crowd really vexed me. Next time I'll organize a lynch mob if the crowd does not get their kvltness together, and execute the lot of them.
Hanged, drawn and quartered!

Until next time, please kill someone.

Yours cruelly, N.S.

Treachery Knows No Bounds

Most of you should know by now, that Norwegian band Keep of Kalessin will be competing in the Eurovision contest. Reactions have been mixed, to say the least. Some consider this a gross sell-out, while others think that true musicians do what ever they want, regardless of reations.
Here's my humble opinion on the matter:


WHAT THE FUCK!?

On my kvlt scale, this is about as kvlt as taking your grandmother to church, and then have sunday dinner with her afterwards! Keep of Kalessin have never scored high on the kvltness in my book, but this is fucking pathetic! While tr00 bands record masterful and kvlt black metal in their grandparents' basements, and only distribute their music through deaththreats, these studio-whores go on international televiosion (Even there, it gets unkvlt) to spread the watered out cum-juice they call music! Real bands molest goats in the woods, they don't go on international song contests like some fucking retarded Ten Sing group!

What ever happened to the old days? When bands lived in complete solitude in the woods, and produced raw and perverse music, worshipped satan, raped animals, killed homosexuals and committed suicide? Nowadays bands lead urban lifestyles, co-exist with their environment, respects others' opinions, produce mindless, soulless (And not in the good way) "metal", donate money to charities and apperantly, competes in Euro-fucking-vision! I find their lack of kvltness disturbing.

They would rather play polished, boring, weakling fag metal at an event that is is clearly held only as a means to placate the jews, than to play evil, blasphemous and sodomizing black metal in the dark underground! Fine. They can have their little zionist get-together. If they do not wish to even attempt to earn their place in the Kvlt, then who are we to stop them? Then again, if anyone wishes to sodomize their pets or sometething like that, I'm all for it.

The lack of kvltness and grimness in today's music infuriates me, as I'm sure it infuriates you acolytes as well.
There are still tr00 kvlt bands out there, though. And I assure you, that my own band will never forsake its kvltist principles!

Until next time, listen to some truly kvlt black metal, and let it skullfuck you all the way to Transilvania!



Yours cruelly, N.S.

The Purpose

Greetings, wenches and mongrels! Thought I'd explain the purpose of this (ultra) kvlt weblog. It's quite simple, really. I am here to teach you how to be kvlt!

You may be thinking to yourself "But... I'm kvlt enough, surely?".
Oh really? You probably still use a regular fork and knife to eat your dinner, don't you? You're probably still listening to untr00 bands, aren't you? You're probably drinking a fucking Red Bull as you're reading this aren't you!? Well, guess what? You're not kvlt. You're not even sub-kvlt!

But it's alright. If i possesesed the power of forgiveness, I would forgive you right now. Because I am here to show you the way. The way of the kvltist.
By following this weblog, you will eventually know kvltness in your black and misanthropic heart.

- You will listen to the right bands.
- You will be mean to animals.
- You will only eat food that has been kvlt-approved.
- You will reject happiness, and accept grimness into your (black and
- misanthropic) heart
- You will wear the right clothes.
- You will not get along with your parents.
- You will learn which groups and organizations to affiliate yourself with.
- You will learn the correct way to scowl.
- You will learn the correct procedure of grave desecration.

These are just some of the things that I will teach you in this weblog! Follow my teachings, and you will soon find yourself on the path towards tr00 kvltness. it will not be an easy journey. But it will be worthwhile.

Until next time:

I hate you all.

Yours cruelly, N.S.